Time has past since we put my dog down. The wound is getting shallower and is beginning the process of healing. Yet there will always be a scar. Every so often it will be cut, the blood of memories coming back. Regular life has continued for me yet sometimes an occurence reminds me of her and a shadow falls over me. Simply the word dog written in the pages of a book or seeing a tennis ball lying in the corner of the room reminds me of whatonce was. Yet, the more apparent things such as a commercial with dogs in it or seeing someone walking a dog that looks like her makes me smile. It’s better that way, remembering the good that was. I took videos of my dog before she passed away. At first I refused to delete them. But now I think I’m starting to be ready, and I’m not watching those videos as much now, oftentimes not at all. As time passes I realize she is so much happier now, without pain, and in her death so many lessons can be learned. The small things that make me frusrated sometimes slip my mind when I remember that there are much worse things that can happen. I also take much more time with my puppy, enjoying her company greatly. I want her to be just as sweet as my deceased dog was. I don’t want to feel guilty when she goes, in the far future, that I didn’t spend as much time with her as I could have. It’s better this way.
It’s better this way.
I keep telling myself that, and soon, I hope, I’ll truly believe it.